Monday, May 2, 2011

Excuse me as I just brush off the cobwebs that have collected on this blog. :)

It's been awhile since I last updated, which I apologize for, even though I admit that I've been busy (and lazy). Please accept my most humble apologies.

I've been thinking about what my blog is about. At first I wanted this blog to be a place where I gabbed about the various things that interested me in an intellectual way. I wanted to show my readers new things, and be very adventurous- one of those indie loggers, but with a twist because I don't dress like an indie-hipster. I'm more of a hippie/poor person. I really just throw stuff on in the morning, and I don't spend too much time looking fashionable (to my parents' dismay).  Anyway, I've quickly come to realize that I simply don't like planning my blog entries, and by extension, I don't like planning my day around a blog post. I wanna do things just because I want to, not because I have to write about it (even for funzies). I like to write about what moves me. I want to write about my thoughts and feelings, however mundane they may be. And I want to write with less structure, more like a stream of consciousness, which is what I'm more comfortable with.

This poses some potential unpleasantness for me, because a lot of my feelings and thoughts have to do with touchy subjects that I don't often talk about in normal daily life. There are a lot of experiences in my life that I've shared with very few people, if any; many of the stories I want to tell are highly personal in nature and emotionally charged. Some of the things I have to say may offend, although that is not my intent. However, I want to be honest and forthcoming with my stories- I don't want to censor myself just because I don't want to step on anyone's toes.

I've come to realize fairly quickly that this blog is meant to be a place to purge myself of emotions I've been holding onto for far too long. It is a place where I can share parts of myself that need to be expressed, the needy parts and insecure parts, the hopeful parts and wounded parts. This is my own way of cleansing my spirit, I suppose. My experiences need to be shared for selfish reasons: I need to be heard, I need to be validated. I don't need people to necessarily tell me that I'm right or wrong, I don't need people to tell me I'm the best or worst; I don't even need people to comment. Knowing that people read my thoughts is enough. It is my own self validation. My readers are just along for the ride.

I do hope someone reads this blog, and maybe it will be a reminder that as humans in this society we share similar experiences of happiness, guilt, shame, excitement, doubt, joy and sorrow. I'm not some famous writer, and I know that its highly unlikely that reading my blog will be the catalyst that brings about a transformation of someone's life, but that's not really the point of this blog, so I'll try to stay clear of those delusions of grandeur.

Anyway, thanks for those of you who read, and I hope you continue to do so. I'll be updating soon!

No comments:

Post a Comment