Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Because I can't be Me for Halloween...

It's the final countdown!!!!! Halloween is in less than a week, and I'm pretty stoked about it. Our Harvest Feast is on Monday (seriously?!) we have so much left to do as far as making our house ready for company. We still have a lot of boxes in the living room (the kitchen is a little better), and the hallway upstairs is almost  unusable because of a giant rug and some boxes blocking the way.... but we still have this week to finish up the cleaning, and then it's onto buying the food and cooking it and then EATING IT. Yay!

Get ready to CHOW DOWN.

I also got invited to a Halloween party at a friend's house on Saturday.  Me, Angela and Kourtney are all going and I'm excited, but there's one little problem: We have no costumes!  And you can't go to a party without a costume.  So I've been trying to find some suitable costumes online, just to give me an idea of what's out there, and I must say, the pickings are slim.  And I do mean SLIM-- most of the costumes I've seen that are geared towards women are intended for skinny women who don't mind showing off their naughty bits (side note-- why do we call them naughty bits? Why can't our breasts and genitals be neutral or positive instead of negative and taboo? But I digress...).

Holy Boob-Job, Batman!

I'm all for expressing yourself, but I'd like to find a costume that will cover me adequately.  The fact that my choices are boiled down to "Sexy Kitten", "Sexy Wizard", "Sexy Ladybug" or "Sexy Witch" is disheartening; I mean, is that all a woman can be?  A "Sexy Something"? Can we not be superheroes unless we show some boob?  Why can't I be a regular Ladybug?!  No one thinks ladybugs are sexy in real life. And someone please explain to me why someone would want to spend 50 bucks on a costume that barely covers you?  If you just walked around in your underwear you'd be accomplishing the same goal, and you'd be saving money.  We're in a recession, people! *sigh*

I also perused the couples costumes (not that Kourtney and I ever do couple costumes) just to see what was out there, and it was also kinda ridiculous. On the plus side, a lot of them are gender neutral.  On the other hand, the gender neutral ones are mostly generic and lackluster. Definitely dorky.  Examples: a fork and spoon, bacon and eggs, pork and beans, or two sides of a broken heart (sad day). Then of course you have the standard woman/man costume pairs:  adam and eve, Olive Oil and Popeye, Dog the Bounty Hunter and his big-bosomed girlfriend/wife/whatever, and this:

Stay Classy, America.

 So, what's a girl to do? It's looking like I'm gonna be making my own costume.  On the plus side, this gives me a lot more to work with in terms of ideas, but I'm at a disadvantage because I have very little to work with in regards to clothes/accessories. I simply don't have a whole lot in my wardrobe. Of course, I could be a gender-queer diva hobo (if you've seen my mobile pics on facebook, you'll know what I'm talking about), but people at the party would most likely not get it because it was kind of an inside joke.

Okay, maybe I need more ideas.... Help?  If you're reading this and you're my friend on facebook, send me a message with your suggestions!!!!!!

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