Monday, October 15, 2012

Nose-deep in a Bad Book

I've finally decided to go to doula training!  Well, I've wanted to go and get certified for awhile, but it costs money I don't have, so I've been putting it off.  Now I finally have some cash, so I'm putting it towards my future!  Doula training (and my journey towards certification) starts in January!  I've already bought some of the books on the reading list for certification, so I'm well on my way-- gotta be proactive, ya know?-- and once I complete my training I'll be able to start attending births, leading up to my certification and maybe even getting paid!



Over 700 pages of crap.


So, I've been reading a lot of books on birthing and postpartum care, and although I'm excited and I'm learning good stuff, I find myself increasingly frustrated with the language used in the majority of these books.  First, they assume that the person reading the book is "The Mother"-- a cisgendered woman, and that this woman is married to a cisgenderd man.  This is clearly not the case in every parenting family-- because a woman does not need to be married to a man in order to give birth and parent a child or children (she doesn't need to be married at all!), and because trans dads give birth and breastfeed, too. I think if I were any other person I could look past all that, but for me it's incredibly annoying that they don't take any of that into account.  So every time they talk about mothers and their husbands, or make a reference to a husband "babysitting" his own children, I cringe.  Every time the talk about "the couple" parenting, I cringe. Not all women are married!  There are plenty of women out there who are going at it as a single parent-- that doesn't mean that they are doing it alone, but come on, people!  And there are plenty of LGBT people having babies all the time, and this kind of language (which completely saturates the book) is just taken for granted, all of the rest of us (the single women, the "other mothers" and trans dads and everyone in between) are invalidated as parents and as people going through pregnancy, childbirth and parenting.

And I don't appreciate it. So that's how I feel about that.


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