Sunday, August 18, 2013

Commencement Reflections and Random Pics

My grandma bought this for me. She rocks.

It's been awhile since my last post-- the last time you heard from me, I was counting down the days to graduation. That was in May.

It's August now. So... it's been awhile.

It wasn't my intention to take such a long hiatus on here. After my last post, I got some pretty good feedback, and at first I was relieved because I truly didn't know how people would respond to what I wrote. I was trying to vent without sounding like a huge whiner. But people seemed to relate to what I wrote, which felt really good. And then I began to worry. What was I going to write next? Would my next post be as good as the last or would it fall short? It brought on a little bit of anxiety. Meanwhile, I was smack-dab in the middle of finals, about to graduate from college, and I thought, "I don't have time for this, I gotta graduate!" So I told myself that I would start back up after I graduated.

And then life kept going, and suddenly I was a college graduate.  Commencement was an amazing and totally worthwhile experience. I was so excited-- as I walked up onto the stage, I couldn't stop smiling, I was so happy and felt so blessed. When they said my name, my family just... erupted with cheers!  I think they were the loudest family there, for sure.  They were so proud of themselves ("were we loud enough for you?"). I was kind of surprised, when I finally crossed that stage, it really sunk in that I finally did it! All those years of elementary, middle, and high school, my years of junior college, all my hard work at Mills for 2 years, all of that culminated into this final moment. I was a college graduate.  I said I was going to do it, and I did. I finally finished something. I've never been so proud of myself. Even thinking about it now, months later, it makes me tear up a bit when I think about it. Things could have gone so differently for me. I could've quit at any time and decided to just work for anyone willing to take me. I could've decided after high school that I just wasn't gonna do the college thing. But for me it wasn't an option. I was going to get my degree no matter what it took.

And to be honest, the road seemed really long. It was hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Let's be honest, Mills College is a no-joke school, people aren't there to fuck around.  It's a place for hard work and learning and going above and beyond. Shit was real, dude. So when I finally made it to commencement, I felt like a superhero. It felt like I'd been climbing a mountain and I finally made it to the top or something. Like if I could make it through that, I could do anything. It was just a great moment in my life. I did it!

So, what else has been going on since May... Well, I took human anatomy and physiology at one of the local community colleges over the summer. My first ever summer class, and it was SO BORING.  That's the one bummer about having graduated from Mills-- I'd been spoiled with engaging, delightful and challenging classes. I REALLY miss Mills, and I'm super bummed that this semester I'll be on a different campus of a different school. It's also weird that a lot of my classmates are getting regular nine to five jobs while I'm still working at a low wage job so I can take my prerequisite classes. So I'm all SCHOOL TIME while everyone else seems to be... "starting life" as it were. I wonder what it's like to have a big kid job. *sigh*

Anyway, there's so much more to tell, but I'm tired and I don't have the energy to write anything else. Here's a small pile of photos for you to enjoy.

Kourtney loves her noodles.

Sometimes you just need some niece time.

This pic made me laugh hardcore. Look at that face!

Got "Liked" at Pride. I was obviously excited.

Say what you will about my brother, but kids fricken LOVE him. That little baby bypassed all the rest of us and took a B-line to Jelani and hugged him. Dude's a baby magnet.

Me and Kourtney at Multnomah Falls in Oregon. 

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