So I haven't been posting any updates about my journey to Judaism, which is admittedly slow-going but super exciting (to me). Passover was last month, and I was invited to a seder at my friend Bekah's mom's house. I was so excited, but also super nervous. I've been to a seder before, but I was like eight or nine and I barely remember it. I'm learning a lot about Judaism, but I'm still a total novice and the thought of messing things up or saying the wrong thing gives me major anxiety. What if I said a word wrong or did something stupid? Turns out I did both of those things and no one threw me out.
I had a great time. I don't think I could've picked a better group of people to introduce me to the celebration of Passover, honestly. Everyone was nice and welcoming, and Irene (Bekah's mom) just knows how to make people feel at ease. We used a children's Haggadah, so it was great for beginners (and had lots pictures which made for great conversation starters), and every part of the seder was explained so us newbies didn't feel lost. And there was wine! Lots of wine. When we got to the ten plagues we each got a bag of toys representing each plague and we got to throw them at each other (we got a little crazy). Just imagine plush stuffed animals and bouncy balls soaring through the air and you'll understand a bit of what it was like. Also, I found the afikomen at the end of the night so I felt super proud of myself (I know, it's just matzah, but I felt a little redeemed after the Jesus Christ debacle).
I feel so blessed that I was introduced to this holiday with such a spirited group of people. Even though I'm still cautious, I'm even more committed to pursuing conversion knowing that when I do I will have support and will have people to go to when I have questions. I'm also so grateful for such a supportive fiancee-- although conversion is strictly part of my own journey, Kourtney came with me to the seder and she is always encouraging me to "find my bliss" spiritually. It's comforting to know that I have someone by my side as I continue to explore a new faith (it can be scary on your own!).