Monday, June 23, 2014

Guest Lists and Other Wedding Things

That's our city permit that says we've booked our venue!

When Kourtney and I first got engaged, we felt a lot of pressure to have a big wedding. Suddenly people were coming out of the woodworks, asking if they were invited, asking what they should wear (and we didn't even have a venue or a date set).  We truly wanted to invite everyone we knew and we wanted to have a huge party! However, we began to realize that planning a big wedding was simply beyond our abilities (financial, emotional and physical). We really began to feel the pressure.

Then my uncle died. And everything was put on hold.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

The Weight Of It All

Self-love Selfie?

So I'm part of this closed group on facebook which I really like-- its a group of like-minded women who agree to keep a safe space for us all to talk about everything from marital problems to favorite ice cream flavors to questions about which cookie cream is the best (cookie meaning vulva, because... I dunno, it sounds better? Anyway, it's a cream to remove pubic hair, end of story). I love this group because these women are honest and supportive and it's nice to have a some sort of safe space in the war zone we call the internet. I mean let's be honest, there are some real assholes out there and they seem to multiply exponentially when it comes to the interwebs. The women in this group share very intimate, personal information about themselves and their struggles. Honestly, I post more to that group than I do to my actual Facebook page.

But there is one thing that really gets to me that I cannot share with the group.  It's the way we all talk about our bodies. 

I know I'm not one to talk because if there was a group for body haters I would be its president (or at least treasurer... secretary? I'd be on the board, at least). I've spent most of my adolescence and young adulthood trying to hurt my body because I have held so much hatred and loathing towards it. Now I'm going through the admittedly slow process of loving my body and developing positive behaviors to take care of it instead of destroy it. So it really breaks my heart to see so many posts about body hatred.

"I hate my thighs."

"I've never felt so ugly."

"I going on X diet because I just hate my body right now."